Love in Romance...You can't move foward if you're taking two steps backwards...
Love in Romance
Dear Friend,
Today you and I are going to make a new mind-set plan for life.
Sometimes you are strong, other times you are weak.
Sometimes you make the decisions and take the actions that lead you to your desired outcomes, other times you just can't decide and your actions (or inactions) lead you to failure.
No doubt you're wanting to grow as an individual so these insights will benefit you.
And yes, I might be crazy blabbering too much but I'm prepeared to give you this valuable information for your knowledge and without asking for anything in return but I know they will thank you for sharing.
Let me show you how straightforward it is to build on your strengths, using the skills you have right now.
Are you ready because you can't move forward until you let go...
Let go of what?
There's a saying that time heals all wounds...well, in theory that may happen but in the real world nothing happens until you get your mind fixed and get the monkey off your back!
You gotta let go of your past, and the only way you can do that is to forget about past mistakes, let go of all negative feelings, and forgive others...
And even more importantly yourself.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that most people who hope to play the dating game or make any sense out of their realtionships wind up failing miserably:
Sometimes there's some action that you have to take before you can forgive.
It may involve removing yourself from a situation where the hurt will go on happening if you don't stop it.
For example:
If you're in an abusive relationship, you can't easily consign each episode of hurt to the past, where it belongs, because the likelihood is that it's going to be repeated.
That doesn't mean you need to go on being a victim.
There are many forms of abuse within relationships.
Some involve physical violence, others mental or emotional cruelty, uncontrollable anger, constant savage criticism, drink or substance abuse, or infidelity.
If you're in a relationship that's causing pain, you need to find a way of dealing with it.
Sometimes that can involve counseling, and help for an abusive partner to change. Other times, the only way to end it is to walk away from the relationship.
Dealing with abusive relationships is a deep and profound issue, there are many varaible that I won't be covering in depth because it's really a personal one-on-one situation...
If you need some help, you'll find organizations online or in the phone book that can help you, and lots of forums and self-help groups online where you can talk to or benefit from the experiences of others who've been through the same thing.
The important thing is that once you have dealt with it, in whatever way you choose (just enduring it is not a helpful option because without some kind of help, abusive relationships get worse, not better)
The only course of action that will heal the hurt and let you regain your confidence and self-esteem is to be happy and to forgive.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to take them back.
That might not be appropriate, for either of you.
What it means is that you let the past go.
You give up all recriminations.
You release your hold on anger, hurt and bitterness.
You don't dwell on what's hurt you. You don't talk about it, think about it, worry about it or fret over it. You look forward, with a positive expectation of good things happening.
No matter who or what has ever hurt you in the past, they can only go on doing so in the present and the future if you let them.
Thoughts of past betrayals, wrongs and injuries are like the vampires in horror stories – they can't come in unless you give permission.
You don't have to give permission.
You can totally refuse to entertain them.
You can banish them for ever.... and the only way to do that's through forgiveness.
Focus On Your Strengths It might be a kind of hangover from schooldays, but most people are far better at listing their shortcoming than their good points. In some ways, that's not totally a bad thing.
We all have shortcomings, and we can't do anything about improving them until we realize what they are.
No matter in how many ways you might want to improve yourself, though, focusing on your shortcomings won't actually help you in the slightest.
In fact, the more you focus on, say, having an accent you don't like, the more you're going to notice it, and the worse you're going to feel about yourself.
Self-improvement is a very useful area to work on.
There are few, if any, people in the world who couldn't benefit from it...
There's a way to improve yourself that works much better than beating yourself up about some fault you have...
...or think you have (the lower your self esteem, the more faults you believe you have and the better your self-image, the easier it is to recognize and correct the issues you really have).
Before you even start to think about your weak points, make a list of all your strong points...
All the skills and character qualities that people compliment you one.
The talents that you're working to improve, your determination to make the most of what you've got, and the potential that only you know of, because the world's not seen it yet.
Yours truly,
Love in Romance
Dear Friend,
Today you and I are going to make a new mind-set plan for life.
Sometimes you are strong, other times you are weak.
Sometimes you make the decisions and take the actions that lead you to your desired outcomes, other times you just can't decide and your actions (or inactions) lead you to failure.
No doubt you're wanting to grow as an individual so these insights will benefit you.
And yes, I might be crazy blabbering too much but I'm prepeared to give you this valuable information for your knowledge and without asking for anything in return but I know they will thank you for sharing.
Let me show you how straightforward it is to build on your strengths, using the skills you have right now.
Are you ready because you can't move forward until you let go...
Let go of what?
There's a saying that time heals all wounds...well, in theory that may happen but in the real world nothing happens until you get your mind fixed and get the monkey off your back!
You gotta let go of your past, and the only way you can do that is to forget about past mistakes, let go of all negative feelings, and forgive others...
And even more importantly yourself.
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that most people who hope to play the dating game or make any sense out of their realtionships wind up failing miserably:
- The only thing that matters is why relationships fail?
- I mean, what is it that can so easily make or break you?
Sometimes there's some action that you have to take before you can forgive.
It may involve removing yourself from a situation where the hurt will go on happening if you don't stop it.
For example:
If you're in an abusive relationship, you can't easily consign each episode of hurt to the past, where it belongs, because the likelihood is that it's going to be repeated.
That doesn't mean you need to go on being a victim.
There are many forms of abuse within relationships.
Some involve physical violence, others mental or emotional cruelty, uncontrollable anger, constant savage criticism, drink or substance abuse, or infidelity.
If you're in a relationship that's causing pain, you need to find a way of dealing with it.
Sometimes that can involve counseling, and help for an abusive partner to change. Other times, the only way to end it is to walk away from the relationship.
Dealing with abusive relationships is a deep and profound issue, there are many varaible that I won't be covering in depth because it's really a personal one-on-one situation...
If you need some help, you'll find organizations online or in the phone book that can help you, and lots of forums and self-help groups online where you can talk to or benefit from the experiences of others who've been through the same thing.
The important thing is that once you have dealt with it, in whatever way you choose (just enduring it is not a helpful option because without some kind of help, abusive relationships get worse, not better)
The only course of action that will heal the hurt and let you regain your confidence and self-esteem is to be happy and to forgive.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean you have to take them back.
That might not be appropriate, for either of you.
What it means is that you let the past go.
You give up all recriminations.
You release your hold on anger, hurt and bitterness.
You don't dwell on what's hurt you. You don't talk about it, think about it, worry about it or fret over it. You look forward, with a positive expectation of good things happening.
No matter who or what has ever hurt you in the past, they can only go on doing so in the present and the future if you let them.
Thoughts of past betrayals, wrongs and injuries are like the vampires in horror stories – they can't come in unless you give permission.
You don't have to give permission.
You can totally refuse to entertain them.
You can banish them for ever.... and the only way to do that's through forgiveness.
Focus On Your Strengths It might be a kind of hangover from schooldays, but most people are far better at listing their shortcoming than their good points. In some ways, that's not totally a bad thing.
We all have shortcomings, and we can't do anything about improving them until we realize what they are.
No matter in how many ways you might want to improve yourself, though, focusing on your shortcomings won't actually help you in the slightest.
In fact, the more you focus on, say, having an accent you don't like, the more you're going to notice it, and the worse you're going to feel about yourself.
Self-improvement is a very useful area to work on.
There are few, if any, people in the world who couldn't benefit from it...
There's a way to improve yourself that works much better than beating yourself up about some fault you have...
...or think you have (the lower your self esteem, the more faults you believe you have and the better your self-image, the easier it is to recognize and correct the issues you really have).
Before you even start to think about your weak points, make a list of all your strong points...
All the skills and character qualities that people compliment you one.
The talents that you're working to improve, your determination to make the most of what you've got, and the potential that only you know of, because the world's not seen it yet.
Yours truly,
Love in Romance
posted by Editor-In-Chief @ 3:20 PM
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